Work/Home/Life balance are mere fashionable rhetorical terms, whataboutery. It is individuals like Anu/Anil who are a true template of the infinite capacity of enlightened humans to lead the best life possible. Know thyself as Socrates had advised. Right action is the only eloquence required, writes historian and freelance writer Dr. Smita Pandey
Two brilliant students forged ahead. One excelled in the cow belt north, the other in the South. Eventually both progressed to giving the mother of all exams in our country -the prestigious Civil Service examination. Inevitably both succeeded. Coincidentally both joined in the same year and commenced their training in the Academy together. Their strong moral fibre, ethical bent of mind, their evolved spiritual quotient and fiercely honest values made them salient. They naturally gravitated towards each other. Their middle class families, in typical filmi style, refused to bridge the North-South divide and denied sanction. Being bright and mature and resilient the duo did not give up. They would marry only with the blessings of their family. Rebelling was not their way out- even though they were independent now- elite IAS officers too. The designation was enough to furnish a huge ‘new ‘family of support. They worked on – along with the arduous training, they laboured to break through the decades of tradition/conditioning in their respective orthodox families. The barriers of caste, regionalism, language seemed formidable. So was the will of the determined Duo.
Another year passed. The Training, officially was grueling and so were the efforts emotionally to make the parents see the light. This continued ceaselessly. The comprehensive Training at the famous Lal Bahadur Shastri National Academy perhaps aided the warrior Duo’s efforts to manage and overcome the resistance of both sides of the family. Their soft approach did the unthinkable -and finally even Maa reluctantly consented to stop entertaining all those coveted ‘rishtas’ which were queueing up at her modest door and were waiting to upgrade her to an affluent lifestyle and grant all her wishes without even uttering ABRACADABRA. Would her new IAS bahu be subservient enough – her devoted son was-so could She also be made to follow ? Her fears proved unfounded.
While her son, Anil, toiled long hours in the Secretariat her daughter in law, Anu did not lag behind either. But there was a difference. Anu would be up before dawn, clean up and cook the meals before leaving for office. Ma in law’s favorite delights were always a part of the daily menu. The entire clan enjoyed the variety of South Indian dishes so excellently prepared by home chef Anu. Anu aced the good bahu exam too.
The professional course was not so smooth. The Bosses were perpetually displeased. Despite working rigorously, Anu was constantly berated. Why are you not in the ‘Yes Minister’ mode? Why are you not comprehending that it is the Mantri’s word which is final- overriding the statute or law ? Honesty meant fearlessly, working for the betterment of the public -whose servant Anu had chosen to become- had become challenging. For Anil too. Both continued, undaunted , to deliver in their various posts, at various levels . Both were known for their work, acquired formidable reputations for being uncompromising with any form of wrongdoing and were iconic officers.
Nobody dared to ridicule Anil. However Anu, being a lady, in ulta Pradesh was constantly targeted. She ignored the jibes. The Boss offered to send a cook home to make rotis when she refused to attend frivolous get togethers. Unlike other wise duos, she and Anil were rarely posted at the same place together. That did not affect their work or relationship -they had evolved beyond the mundane wants of their peers. They even became crusaders against the rampant corruption in the bureaucracy that resulted in a historic campaign to weed out ‘’the three most corrupt ‘’-a brave first experiment universally!
Despite the systemic obstructions, both Anil and Anu became Secretaries. Both shunned the limelight and worked prodigiously so their Departments made gigantic strides under them. Anil continued to be tolerated but Anu had to fight the system more aggressively. It did not end with retirement. . Now well meaning friends curiously ask Anil what he is planning to do. His lectures and writeups are widely appreciated. Then comes the conditioned/ biased/gendered enquiry ,’’Anu how is the cooking going ?We are waiting for a luncheon invite…’’ Food for pleasing their palates is Her domain -all the commendable work that Anu did -which surpassed the meagre output of most of her colleagues is negated by their prejudiced lenses .Work/Home/Life balance are mere fashionable rhetorical terms, whataboutery. It is individuals like Anu/Anil who are a true template of the infinite capacity of enlightened humans to lead the best life possible. Know thyself as Socrates had advised. Right action is the only eloquence required.
(Dr. Smita Pandey is historian and a freelance writer)
